Overwhelming Feeling of Panic

"I can't be bothered to update this blog." These are the words that I screamed from my window at three in the morning.

I was having one of my periodic existential crises. You know, the ones where you become overwhelmed with the absurdity and pointlessness of your existence. I was totalling up the achivements of my life, and this is what I came up with:

1. No-one in human history has simultaneously consumed raw fish and alcoholic beverages on as many occasions as I have.
2. I have been arrested on 47 occasions, mainly for disturbing the peace, obstructing the police and offences against rhyming poetry.
3. I fathered a child after a 17 hour drinking binge.
4. Every word I have ever uttered is treated with unmitigated ridicule and barely-disguised contempt.

This doesn't add up to much, I suppose. But this blog was founded in the intention of combating this last achievement - for I know, secretly, that there are thousands of people hanging on my every word, nay, living their very lives by the wisdom of my insights. But this led me into paradoxical territory: does the blog advance my fame, or negate one of the achievements of my life?

I was in turmoil. So I decided not to post for a while. And then tell you about it.