Another New Dawn

Today is the beginning of a new phase. My New Year's resolution is to be resolute in all things; I am committing myself anew. But to what, dear reader? To this blog, of course! To the blog no-one cares about! To this monument to my folly! To my egocentric 'blogging' fantasy , which adds to the hundred of thousands of millions of voices already out there, all squawking for attention like idiotic chicks. You all want a piece of it, don't you fellow bloggers? Don't you, eh? But you don't know anything about fame! You don't know what what it's like to have the paparazzi follow you everywhere, writing articles about your dress sense, and photographing you every time you leave the house naked. I do. I've been there and I know what it's like. So just carry on looking for fame, you losers. It will never find you through blogging. That's why I'm taking refuge in this blog: nobody reads it, nobody knows who I am and what secret shames I hide. That is, of course, unless they examine my fansite (www.freewebs.com/dadfield)

I have spent the holiday season drunk. But I'm not an alcoholic. Oh no. In 1976, I promised never to drink between October and February for the rest of my life. And I did this for a bet. But this year I broke my rule for the thirtieth time - nay, shattered it. For, on Christmas Eve, and had a weak lager shandy alongside my traditional bottle of Latvian vodka. The beer must have been past its best, because I spent the next 24 hours in a stupor. Apparently I was so drunk I wandered into a river trying to catch fish with a sieve. But I don't condone drinking at all. Thats why I confronted my friend Derek when he was enjoying a bottle of wine at home with his family. He understood the lesson well, I think. He will be discharged from hospital tomorrow.