The Course of History

My recent researches have involved tracking the course of history from the Beginning to the Present. This work will eventually be published in the revised version of my masterwork The Key to All Mythologies, but as a selfless public service, I will also provide a useful summary here. For the catagories, I offer obsequious thanks to Mr John Nickelstone and an Unnamed Conspirator:

1. The Prehistoric Age of Nothing: when nothing existed
2. The Prehistoric Age of Reptilian Hugeness: when the earth was ruled by large lizards.
3. The Prehistoric Age of Reptilian Bigness: in this age the lizards were less large than before.
4. The Age of Beautiful Birds: not what you might think.
5. The Age of Natural Tyranny: when Nature was tyrannical, and Tyranny was natural.
6. The Age of Idiocy: when Humankind walked the earth.
7. The Age of Extremities: a term invented by E. Hobsbawm to describe the latter end of the Age of Idiocy, when humans became obsessed with politics and their obscene extremities.
8. The Age of Classic Strikers: a term invented by J. Nickelstone to descibe the latter end of the Age of Idiocy, when humans became obsessed with field sports. Shortly followed by the End of Civilisation.